A Brief Year-End Ministry Reflection

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“We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God, your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t be insecure around you.” – Marianne Williamson

And with that awesome quote, I begin my reflections on the year that was 2008.

This has been a wildly eventful year, as far as ministry is concerned. Our work over the past year has resulted in a lot of healthy fruit and a lot of brier patches too. This is the nature of church planting, or any other ministry for that matter, I’m sure. Every moment of exhilarating success is matched by a moment of near debilitating failure. It would be so easy to internalize these successes and failures, but investing one’s self-worth in the volatile ebb and flow of ministry would be a terrible, terrible mistake. This misplaced investment has, however, claimed many, many ministers and ministries. Success – regardless of how that’s defined – is not where our self-worth should be sourced; failure – regardless of how that’s defined – is not where our self-worth should be sourced. This should seem quite obvious but in reality separating oneself from the immediate results of the work is a very, very difficult thing to do, but in this line of work we must do so. Our physical and spiritual and familial health depends upon it. Incidentally, I am also convinced that this emotional roller-coaster is the number one reason for the very, very low placement of “church planting” on vocational ministry lists. Who in their right mind would want to do this vocationally? There is only one right answer: Those who are called to it! And even then the volatile ebb and flow of success and failure will prove to be almost too much to bear.

That is my big ministry lesson of 2008. Incidentally, 2008 was my very first full year of vocational ministry. That right! The very first full year is in the books, so to speak! Talk about a sink or swim…

The second big ministry lesson of 2008 has everything to do with the Marianne Williamson quote used to open this reflection. What do I mean? Simply this: I’ve been playing small because I felt that the ministry needed me too if people were ever going to sign up to participate. That sort of shrinking leadership did nothing but slow almost everything down. Let me explain…

When you start a church plant and your initial core includes your three elementary school children and your wonderful wife then mission number one is people. That’s right! People! The first thing you must do is gather more people. So gather I did! Needless to say, not all the people who were gathered had the same vision as I had for this church. So, I played it small so they would not feel insecure. Marianne Williamson would be aghast! Yet, I thought this was the way to build the team that I knew we needed to accomplish the bigger vision. That’s not how it works! The only thing this accomplished was a big slow down of nearly every aspect of ministry and vision. It also made a clear articulation of who and what we are a bit challenging – if not difficult – at times. For example, if I said something like, “We are 100% behind women in leadership,” then we might lose two or three couples. Honestly, when you are trying to gather couples rather than lose them compromising your otherwise strong convictions is a lot easier than watching your growing group shrink. Pastors and ministry workers of every stripe are faced with this tough reality. Many choose to compromise their convictions, and I did the unthinkable and actually joined them in the fiasco for a quick minute. I will not be doing that any more, I assure you. I will not, as Marianne Williamson so powerfully put it, “shrink so that other people won’t feel insecure around me.” That’s not a life that can be lived in Jesus of Nazareth’s realm/kingdom. That’s not a life I care to live ever again, even if only for a quick minute.

So, I’m looking forward to church planting and ministry in 2009. There is nothing stopping us now. The vision will be articulated clearly and boldly so there will be no mistake about who we are and what we are trying to accomplish. If this articulated vision makes some folk uncomfortable, so be it. I have much to say and I refuse to allow the religious insecurities of a small minority to continue to prevent me from spilling all that I contain and have been given to say by the Holy Spirit. We were never supposed to be “church as normal,” and we will not be that church from this point forward, I assure you. There are plenty of those sorts of churches in the area, and if that’s your thing then I suggest that you find one of those places and camp out there. If you are interested in making sense of the faith in this post-Christian, post-Evangelical, post-Modern context of ours, and honestly want to approach the Bible in an informed and literate and honest fashion, then we are the place for you. If you are a social, political, and gender egalitarian (Jesus was!), then we are the place for you. If you are a burned-out fundamentalist looking for spiritual renewal and life freedom then we are the place for you. If you are searching for a safe community wherein you can ask big questions out loud and openly search for the answers to these big questions with others than we are the place for you. If you are all about Jesus and his Kingdom, and want to dispense with all the other religious nonsense that has been attached to it, then we are the place for you. One thing is for certain: Down playing these things in an effort to help a few people feel more secure around us does no one any favors at all! Playing it small doesn’t serve the world; it stunts its growth!

That said, you may disagree with all of the above and you would still receive an opened-armed welcome from us! You don’t have to agree, but you really should be aware of the fact (that you don’t have to agree!) and you should be aware of who we are and who we are striving to be as a community. Said differently, you should be aware of the very real fact that you will be challenged to grow deeper in this community.

So, the year 2008 has been an interesting and enlightening first full year of ministry, to say the least. I have learned much from things that have succeeded; I have learned much from the things that have failed. I have been especially humbled by the calling and the responsibility that is vocational ministry. My mentor and friend has 40+ years of ministry logged; I have little more than one! Seriously, that is an incredibly sobering stat, given all that I am currently reflecting upon during the close of this first full time year. The year 2009 should be something else and probably will be! I’m getting back on the roller coaster! How ’bout you?

Related posts:

• 10 Reasons Why Church Planting Sucks

• New Year Resolutions

• A Portable Horticulture: On Planting Churches

• An End of Year Community Reflection

• An Emerging Church in Lancaster City