The Gospel According to Yoda
Apparently, there is a thriving church based upon the unarguably brilliant mythology popularly known as Star Wars by cinema fans the globe over. Granted, George Lucas’s fictional galaxy and humanoid characters are inspiring, but are they really that inspiring? Adherents of Jediism obviously think so! There are an estimated 500,000 members of the Church of Jediism, and they all strive to live their lives according to “The Jedi Code” and “The Force.”
Jediism co-founder Daniel Jones (aka Master Morda Hehol) encountered a serious disturbance in The Force recently at a supermarket in Bangor, North Wales. Tesco store management obviously missed the section of The Jedi Handbook that clearly states “Jedis must wear a hood up in any public place of a large audience,” or maybe they don’t consider themselves to be “audience,” per se. Whatever the reasons, when the Tesco employees demanded that Master Morda Hehol remove his hood for security reasons, he refused and was consequently escorted from the store.
Master Morda Hehol, understandably disgruntled, launched a Jedi warning at Tesco during a recent interview with The Sun (the daily tabloid newspaper published in the United Kingdom and Ireland, not the flaming ball of gas).
I’ll advise worshippers to boycott Tesco if it happens again. They will feel the Force.
Question: Would such a boycott be a proper use of The Force? Be careful, young Jedi. The Dark Side is strong.
May the force be with you, Church of Jediism.
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Obviously if the place of business is incongruent with the beliefs of your religion, DONT GO. This is just as foolish as Jewish people hypothetically boycotting a place called The Pork Chop.
PS: Isn’t Jedi the same word in plural? If so, why does their hood rule specify “Jedis?”
Ray – Not sure if that is a reporting typo on the part of The Sun, or if that’s how The Jedi Handbook reads. We need to get our hands on The Jedi Handbook to be sure! LOL! :)
Bespin 3:16
16: Solo looked up solemnly, but with no hesitation as he spoke. “Soon, one of you shall betray me.” And Leia, Princess of Alderaan, and C-3p0, Protocol Droid of Tatooine, were quick to respond.
17: “Sureley it is not me, Han!” They cried falling to their knees, and Solo replied, “It is not.” Next, Chewbacca growled something that cannot be translated into God’s tounge, and Solo replied to him, “No, Chewie, it is not you either.”
18: “Well surely it could not be me, Han?” Lando Calrissian of Bespin asked.
19: “It is,” Solo replied.
20: Yoda wept.
LOL! You need to finish this gospel, Master Ray Ad Kins.
wept yoda did?
Hey man – did you get this story from me? lol. Anyway, I saw you gave me a shout out on your site about following you on twitter. Thank you – ok if I link to your blog?
I like your site! Keep going, brother!
What’s up, Nate! It may have been you who linked this story on Facebook. That’s where I first saw it. Hilarious!
Sure link away, I’ll add your blog to my links too, once I figure out for sure how I want to display them!
You keep on going too!!!