It shouldn’t have taken so long. The job required ten minutes of his time, tops. Yet, Kilroy was still there, barely balancing atop his rickety, make-shift ladder which was built out of a not-so-clever vertical combination of his cat’s tan-carpet-covered scratching post and a green, plastic clothes hamper. He knew better than to perilously perch himself atop stacked unstackables; but he really needed to hang his swag and lacked proper props. So, there he was, stretched beyond limits in a perpetual state of momentary flux. He was, on the one hand, stretching madly to tract and tack two handfuls of sun-stopping swag raised as far above his head as they possibly could be; on the other hand, he was fighting to stabilize the poorly designed skyscraper upon which his fickle feet were fluctuating. Now Kilroy hung, frozen, numb, and quite suspended in time.
Perhaps the suspense would not have been so dire, had the window actually been closed before Kilroy took on the swag. A backward fall into the room, now, was no guarantee. A two story plunge into the parking lot seemed completely doable, at least from Kilroy’s brand new perspective. Perhaps the suspense would not have been so desperate, had Kilroy actually strolled to the super’s shed and asked for a sizable step stool. His own doddering device, now, dangled him at will, threatening him with the sort of mystery which forced him to humbly bow. Perhaps the suspense would not have been so apathy laden, had Kilroy actually expected a friendly face and an extended hand to arrive on the scene. Kilroy knew no one was scheduled to arrive any time – or day – soon. Oh! How he now wished he had invited more friends and neighbors, and more regularly! Kilroy simply hung there, and surrendered to premature dotage.
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