Hold this Thread as I Walk Away Part Two

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An Undone Sweater

My affiliation with the Atlantic Conference of the Brethren in Christ Church is over. Inner Metro Green – the community I launched and currently pastor – will be deciding on their own whether or not to continue their affiliation with the Atlantic Conference. The bishop and I agree that my relationship with the Atlantic Conference of the Brethren in Christ can’t continue because of the drastic difference in theology, philosophy and vision that exists between us. In other words, bigger and more serious issues await us both in the future if we continue forward with our affiliation. So, it is over and I am moving on. That said, I didn’t have much choice in the matter. I was basically presented with two options: 1. Resign; 2. Be Fired (actually, I’d choose to fire myself as a result of a clever set of options presented to me).

I think the full story should be shared with all those involved and any others who are interested. This story has been divided into two parts. The second part of the story follows. The first part of the story can be read here.

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The bishop emailed me and his tone was clear. He wanted a meeting with me and he said “There are problems with your blog post. I will clarify them for you.” So, I knew it was not going to end well. After all, there were problems existing between our community and the conference that were much bigger issues than a blog post. If anything, the blog post was an excuse to do what they ultimately wanted to do. I’ll explain that in a bit, but first, I want to clarify the problems that existed between myself and the conference bishop and his coaches.

1. Leadership Style: I am not an authoritarian. I do not believe in the educational pedagogy that Paulo Freire referred to as the “Banking Model.” Basically, the “Banking Model” approach to education assumes that “students” are empty accounts into which all of the teacher’s information is deposited in rote fashion. Personally, I don’t think this pedagogy is worth a damn apart from the extremely limiting/limited colonial system in which it grows/exists and from which it finds/extracts enough energy to blindly perpetuate itself. Said differently, I do not believe that congregations are full of empty-minded dolts who need me to do all of their thinking for them. I also do not believe that congregations need me – their pastor – to proclaim stances and preach policies from the pulpit in some sort of seriously misguided effort to “teach” them what is socially, morally or spiritually right or wrong. I, as their pastor, believe my role is to facilitate conversation and walk with individuals and the community as they explore and learn on their own and together. Pastors who take stances and write policies for entire congregations kill the learning and the experience of journey. I will not be another one of those pastors. The conference took issue with this conviction of mine because they believe a pastor should be the exact opposite.

2. Homosexuality: We have more than a few homosexuals and homosexual couples involved with our community. They are openly welcomed to participate in all aspects of our community and community life. This was an area of tension within our community because there is in fact a diversity of opinion concerning homosexuality. Some in our community think it is incompatible with the Christian faith; others believe it is compatible; others are not sure what to think about it. We welcome this diversity of opinion while holding up Jesus’ story of the Good Samaritan as our guiding focus. Jesus painted the Samaritan as a hero because the Samaritan did not adopt a religious system that prevented him from showing compassion to a person in need. The Priest and the Levite, however, did adopt religious systems that prevented them from showing another human being compassion.  The Priest and the Levite had to walk by the person in need because if they would have helped they would have been rendered “unclean” and thus, in their minds, be separated from their God. We found application for Jesus’ Good Samaritan story when we realized that our opinions of homosexuality’s compatibility or incompatibility did not matter, ultimately. What mattered is that our religious system(s) did not prevent us from be accepting, welcoming, loving, and just. So, we celebrated the diversity of opinion and the unity it produced (unity requires diversity not uniformity) and set our eyes on the bigger mission of authentic and open community. The conference disagreed and pressed us – me especially – to make a proclamation or policy concerning homosexuality that looked more like the churches in the conference.

All that said, I would like to clear the air right now about my personal stance on the issue of my homosexual brothers and sisters. I was very, very careful during my time as an employee of the Atlantic Conference of the Brethren in Christ to be a diplomat on the issue, but since I was forced to resign/fired, I’ll simply say it as bluntly as I can: Homosexuality is not incompatible with faith. If it is incompatible with your expression of faith, I’d humbly suggest that you update. I used to address the issue according to where people where at within their own expression of faith, but that doesn’t seem to be very productive at all. So, I’ll simply say that I personally don’t believe homosexuality to be incompatible with faith. Period. Again, to re-iterate the point of Jesus’ Good Samaritan, my personal opinion on the matter doesn’t matter, ultimately. Your opinion on the issue doesn’t matter either, apart from the opportunity for unity that is produced as a result of our diversity. Ultimately, all that matters is the compassion  we offer to others, and that we don’t create religious systems that thwart this compassion, of course.

3. Alignment With Emerging/Emergent Expressions of Faith: I was told on numerous occasions by the conference to seriously re-think my/our public alignment with Emerging/Emergent expressions of the faith. We tried this early on in our ministry in Lancaster City. It worked. We attracted all sorts of nutty Driscollian Calvinists. They made quite a mess and wasted a bunch of our energy and took us off script. Our mission suffered during this time. Happily, not one of these Driscollians are with us today and our community has been experiencing a strong practical unity since January of this year. The moral of the story: Be who you are and don’t try to hide it for the sake of those who will never be happy with you or your community anyway. Tell them what you are about and let them go on their way. Shake the dust off your feet and focus your energy into more productive efforts. We are a progressive and emergent community. It’s who we are and if we can’t say it publicly then we are in the wrong place.

4. Theological and Philosophical Curiosity And Investigation: I/we are a curious bunch as far as intellectual pursuit and theological/philosophical investigation are concerned. I also have/had no problem whatsoever with talking about major theological, philosophical, and/or Biblical issues “from the pulpit” on Sunday mornings. In fact, we have used Sunday mornings to talk about a lot of things most churches never discuss at all for fear of losing their congregations. I say that most church leaders and pastors are afraid of the butter falling off their butter knife. In other words, they don’t want to loose their tithers so they never talk about the serious issues in the bible, theology, philosophy. They just keep regurgitating the same old hogwash ad nauseam while they preach about personal change that hasn’t resulted in anything substantial for humankind in the past 2000 years. I/we have a different set of priorities. Keeping people plopped on their ass in the middle of the status quo is not one of them. We are curious; we investigate things. We deconstruct and we dream. We are OK with it. Some people are not OK with us doing so, obviously. That’s OK too.

5. Jesus Focus: There is this big mysterious crowd  that keeps telling the conference that I am not/we aren’t focused on Jesus. This is the most troubling aspect of all of this. I mean, we could be charged with a lot, I’m sure, but our focus upon Jesus is not one of them. We talk about Jesus of Nazareth and his Kingdom of Equals all of the time! Again, it seems as though what is really being said is, “Your expression of Jesus is not like ours so it must be non-existent!” Not one member of this mysterious crowd of people who are concerned about my/our Jesus focus ever approached me/us to discuss it. Why not? If you are concerned, isn’t meeting with me/us and asking clarifying questions the biblical thing to do? Who are all of you people who are concerned about me/us? I know that local pastors are included in your numbers. The bishop said as much to me while he was giving me the option to resign or be fired. Pastors! You all should know better than this, right? I will still meet with any of you who are concerned so that you can ask me all about Jesus. I’d love to have that conversation.

6. Trip to DC to Meet with Emergent Folk and Brian McLaren to Discuss Networking: I think this was the event that broke everything. Brian McLaren is like a lightning rod. Complacent evangelicals despise the fellow. I/we are personally inspired by him and his dedication to the faith and the church. I do think our brief visit with him and Steve and Mike caused more than a bit of anxiety in the Atlantic Conference. In fact, I think it was the catalyst that ended my affiliation with the Brethren in Christ. I’m not sure why this is so. I’m not sure why there was such visible anxiety about the DC meeting. I’m not sure why this anxiety was on full display in the meeting with the bishop that immediately followed our return from Washington DC. It’s odd. I think that says it all right there. It was very, very odd.

The unraveling continues … there is almost no sweater left at all.

So, after all of that, I was presented with two options by the Atlantic Conference.

OPTION 1: I chose to end my affiliation with the Atlantic Conference. I surrender my ministerial license and refrain from commenting about this decision of my blog or through Facebook or any other social networking tools. The Atlantic Conference will contact the Inner Metro Green board to ascertain if the church wishes to remain affiliated. The Atlantic Conference will continue to provide a monthly subsidy to Inner Metro Green through the end of 2009 provided that all of the above conditions are met. If any of the conditions are violated the subsidy will end immediately.

OPTION 2: Shawn will take two weeks to discern what is best for him, his family, and the church. During those two weeks he will commit to the following:

1) Refrain from any blog posts about the church, the BIC, and theological issues in general.
2) Refrain from comments on Facebook or other social networks related to the BIC and any theological issues.
3) Remove his current blog post: A Note to those Concerned about My Focus.
4) Refrain from speaking with anyone about this discernment process except for the following people: Atlantic Conference Coach #1, Atlantic Conference Coach #2, Atlantic Conference Pastor #1, Atlantic Conference Bishop. It is assumed that Coleen Anthony will also uphold this confidentiality requirement.

Following the two week discernment time, Shawn will meet with the Bishop to determine which of the following options is best:

a) Shawn resigns as pastor at Inner Metro Green and looks for other employment. If this option is chosen the Atlantic Conference would commit to helping Shawn and the church transition well.
b) Shawn determines he wants to remain at Inner Metro Green. This would result in OPTION 1 being initiated as described above. The Atlantic Conference might consider entering into one final “probationary period” with Shawn.

So, basically, I was forced out. I was told to resign or be fired. I went into this meeting hoping to salvage two things: 1.) An employer reference because I did a great job at planting a church in the city and the bishop and coaches all have said that multiple times; 2.) A severance package because I need time to find a job and transition into new employment. I was told by the bishop that I could have both if I would help transition a new pastor into the community (a pastor who would be everything our community is not) and not say a word about what happened during our meeting. In fact, I was told to tell anyone from Inner Metro Green who asked that, and I quote, “We had a good meeting and we reached a mutual agreement.” That’s all I was supposed to say. If I’d do those things, I’d be given my reference and my severance. I was happy with that, at the time.

Then I thought about it … and here we are.

My sweater is totally unraveled. I’m done here, for sure, but far from being done with my call and ministry. They can hold this thread while I walk away. I’m OK with being unraveled.

I will not compromise our community’s message. I will not withhold information from our community so I can receive a severance package and a good reference. You can keep your reference. I will move forward. I’m exhausted and I need a bit of a break from ministry, so I can care for my own spirituality in much needed ways and contemplate next steps and search for leaders who will help me preach my message rather than work against it or try to change it.

I will say this: All of us who are preaching this progressive, emerging message and its scandalous gospel need to be strong, encouraged, united, and constantly pushing forward. Change is not easy. Our community will carry on in some form or fashion. Our presence in Lancaster County is not going to disappear. We will continue to subvert and deconstruct the status quo, prayerfully and lovingly. We want to be known, before all else, for our love for one another and for our love for all who have been excluded and rejected by the self-righteous. So far, we are doing swell. After all, that is exactly why so many people are concerned for us or complain about us or question us. So be it.

And to all of those so-called leaders out there who wield authority recklessly and quickly succumb to large and mysterious crowds and their so-called concerned voices, do remember this: You may lose your sweaters too.

Related posts:

• Hold this Thread as I Walk Away Part One

• Big Meeting for Inner Metro Green

• The Fantastic Four Meme

• A Blog You Should Be Reading

• Inner Metro Green Hosting Free Mothers Day Breakfast In Lancaster City!