Five Life Lessons
Life lessons are learned by actually living life. Sure we can pick up books along the way that will help us along our way but the the only way to really learn anything is by actually doing it. Advice from our friends, loved ones, and leaders is really helpful too, but again, the only way we will really learn all the lessons this life has to teach us is by actually living life. Life lessons are learned by personal experience. Sometimes these lessons are learned the easy way, sometimes they are learned the hard way. Regardless of what you’ve been told or sold, you will have to jump headlong into life and living to really learn anything.
So, I’ve learned more than a few lessons in my life too. Yes, I’ve read a lot of books and I’ve listened to a lot of friends, teachers and leaders. My personal reflections, however, tell me that the most important lessons I have learned in life were learned on the fly. So, while I offer you a few of the life lessons I have learned, please remember that you will have to learn these for yourself all on your own, in your own time, and at your own pace. Said differently, you will have to toss all that I am about to say and find your own way. If you do, you will find what you are searching for, all on your own.
The following five life lessons are for your consideration only. They are not rules that you can appropriate or follow. Simply consider them and then blaze your own trail.
1. Be Risky
Everything is risk. Life is a risk because it isn’t guaranteed but we love it so much that the risk of losing it is actually worth taking. Love is a risk because it places each of us in the most vulnerable position possible but the experience of being loved is so beautiful that we’ll take the risk of losing it just so we can have it. Success is a risk too because for every success we realize there was probably five failures preceding it but we keep trying because our one successful venture makes us forget all of our attempted failures. Risk isn’t an option in life. Those who don’t take risks are not living. So get comfortable with risk. It’s the stuff of life.
2. Be Impulsive
Sitting on your hands waiting for the perfect moment to do something is not maturity. It’s a waste of opportunity, time, and possibility. Will every impulsive act result in happiness? No! Sometimes being impulsive will get you into a bit of trouble but more often than not it will result in confidence, adventure, and brand new possibilities that would have gone unrealized otherwise. There will be those occasions when the thin branch you climb out on breaks but living with the big “what if” questions is far worse than living with the consequences of actually falling out of your tree. If you do fall out of your tree, simply get up, let yourself heal, and start climbing! Hear me: I’m not suggesting to quit planning; I’m simply saying that over-planning is worse than not planning at all. I think more of us over-plan than under-plan. Find a balance in life so you can actually live in the moment. Living in the moment requires us to be impulsive.
3. Be Authors
You are writing your own story. No one else writes it; no one should write it for you. When we realize this truth, we can start taking control and responsibility for the lives we are living and for the lives we want to live. You are your own author! Understanding this is key for having healthy experiences and relationships because we can’t really have healthy experiences or an authentic relationship with another human being until we become comfortable with the pen that is in our hand. Said differently, you can’t give or receive that which you do not own for yourself. So, unless you are the author of your own story, do not even try to become part of, or, god forbid try to start writing, another person’s story. I honestly believe that this is the trouble in most of our experiences and relationships. We, for example, try to enter into our relationships before we even understand ourselves and we cripple one another in our search for a story that only begins with each one of us, individually. Instead of writing our own story, we reach for and forcibly take hold of the fragments of other people’s stories and try to piece together … something … for ourselves. That’s backwards! Be your own author! By doing so, you will realize the true beauty of other people’s stories and save yourself from the popular but weak dive into shallowness. Also, remember that you are bigger than than the circumstances that others place upon you. You are more beautiful than the image that others superimpose upon you. You are stronger than the lies that they tell you. Your personal potential is brighter than the clouds they blow over you. None of that matters, because your pen is in your hand. You need to start writing, that’s all. It’s your story!
4. Be Flexible
Situations and circumstances can change in an instant! Always be prepared for change. Even our most determined plans can be upset by the smallest life event. We can try to avoid having our plans disrupted, but it will be in vain. Everything changes all the time. People fall in and out of love, job situations change, children grow up and leave home, the economy crashes, and summer vacation plans get scrapped. Situations and circumstances change all of the time. Flexibility saves us from the stress that is produced from the ridiculous idea that our present station in life is not transient. We are all transients. Life is a series of mini-series. Everything changes, including you. So, hold on loosely, enjoy the moment you are living in right now, and don’t sweat the changes that will disrupt your plans. Ride the wave, and enjoy it.
5. Be Yourself
I have had more than a few people try to shape me into something that I am not and never will be. I, in my honest attempt to be “teachable,” as they would call it, actually tried to be the something that they wanted me to be but was not. Needless to say, it sucked. I sucked too because I suck at being someone else. I have to be myself and so do you! When we try to be something other than ourselves we actually step out of the life and spirit that we were given and we are not productive at all. In fact, I would say that the foolish attempt to be something or someone else is actually counterproductive to authentic life and living. When we try it our jobs, relationships, and performance suffers. More than that, we suffer because we are attempting to be who we weren’t created to be. The happiness that inherently accompanies life and being is only realized when the being living embraces the life already realized. In other words, we can’t be really happy until we are happy with ourselves and to be happy with ourselves we have to be ourselves. Anyone who tries to convince you that you should be someone or something else cares more about a job or a performance or an issue more than they care about you. Why would you want to please those that do not have your best interest at heart? Just be yourself. People will love you for it. It will lead you home.
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