Confessions of a Good Christian Guy: The Secrets Men Keep and the Grace that Saves Them
Confessions of a Good Christian Guy is written by Tom Davis and Tammy Maltby and is published by Thomas Nelson Publishers
Henry David Thoreau’s Walden compilation launches with an essay titled “Economy” in which he writes: “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation…” Thoreau specifically wrote concerning what he perceived to be self-imposed slavery to self-powered systems (i.e., our work and those for whom we work), but the quote could be applied to a much broader set of circumstances and social scenarios, as far as men are concerned. Confessions of a Good Christian Guy: The Secrets Men Keep and the Grace that Saves Them begins where Thoreau’s famous quote – misapplied or not – stops. After all, it’s one thing to identify the problem but it’s another thing to actually offer a solution or fix. Tom Davis and Tammy Maltby not only identify several key spiritual issues that men everywhere wrestle with, but also offer practical, Biblical solutions meant to encourage individuals to look towards God for complete renewal.
My rating: stars
Confessions runs the gamut of the most common issues that secretly plague men everywhere.
The never-ending struggle with sexual sins is addressed in a chapter called “I’ve Got a Dirty Mind.” Concerning this quiet issue men deal with daily, Davis writes, “Even though many of us have followed Christ a long time and deeply desire to obey him, chances are it’s not hard to admit there are aspects of our sexuality we’re not proud of” (37). Amen! More men in churches all over this country are prisoners of their secret sexual sins. We would do well to openly admit our struggles and temptations and then lean upon one another and the Holy Spirit for the encouragement, strength, and spiritual stamina we need to live victoriously in this important area of our lives.
Pride and rugged individualism are dealt with simultaneously in a chapter called “I’m a Self-made Man.” Davis says, “Pride rarely seems to be a glaring problem in our lives. In fact, we typically think of pride as something good, don’t we? For instance, I’m proud when my son does well in soccer. I’m proud to be an American. Pride of ownership is something we’re encouraged to have when it comes to our houses’ curb appeal. for baseball fans, the movie Pride of the Yankees is a critically acclaimed classic” (61). So when does pride become a problem or sin? “The dangerous kind of pride is an elevated attitude of self-importance. It’s thinking of ourselves as greater than we are. It’s when we start believing we’re the ones ultimately responsible for our success. Our chests swell up like balloons, and we take credit for all the good” (63).
Materialism is covered in a chapter simply called “I want More Stuff.” Davis writes, “Materialism is a symptom of dissatisfaction in our inner lives. That dissatisfaction can prompt us to make a series of small, unhealthy choices that can lead to our demise. At the very least, materialism causes us to be ungrateful for what the Lord has given us right now” (91). The current economic situation in America may be all the remedy we need to cure our wanton materialism, but there is always the offer of a deeper satisfaction in God too. Confessions points readers towards that deeper satisfaction.
Chapter five is worth the total price of the book all by itself. Chapter five is called “I Need My Dad: The Confusion of Parenting and Pain of a Father-wound. It would be no stretch to say that the number one struggle Christian men tagged by Generation X deal with daily has everything to do with “Dad”. Our generation’s dads were practically absent, for whatever bad reasons. There was little advice, modeling, or nurture to be had from our dads, and we are suffering the consequences deep within our personal spiritual and relational spheres. Davis sums up the current situation concerning our relationships – or lack thereof – with our dads eloquently as he writes, “It’s funny. Do you ever remember saying when you were young, ‘When I’m a dad, I’ll never do that to my kid’? And then you grow up and have kids and do the exact same thing! Our fathers can have an effect on us stronger than we realize. Call this a mark, or an icon. All men have a mark that was given to us by our fathers. For many of us, this mark is mostly a positive thing – we have real examples of what it means to follow the Lord wholeheartedly, even though our father wasn’t perfect. But for many other men, this mark is a definite wound – a father-wound – a role our fathers were supposed to fill but didn’t. Now that mark has become a missing piece of our hearts that we try to fill for years to come” (109). This chapter is huge. The subject matter is priceless. The spiritual direction is a blessing.
Confessions of a Good Christian Guy is a really good and really helpful read. I recommend it, with one caveat: it is only a beginning! Too many people who are looking for the deeper life think that one read or one book will usher them into spiritual bliss. It’s not so! The deeper life and the deeper spiritual life are not that easy. This book is little more than a really, really solid beginning. Do not succumb to the Western temptation for microwave spirituality. If it is from God it’ll take much time and the roots sprouting will dive deep. Authentic growth takes time and work and nurture. Confessions of a Good Christian Guy is only a beginning. If you expect it to be more than a beginning you will be entirely disappointed and it will not be the book’s fault. It will be your fault.
Note: Confessions of a Good Christian Guy was sent by the publisher specifically for review on Tribe.
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